Mister Sandman, bring me a dream.

dbztextsfromlastnight:

Submitted by the amazing timeskips!

(via dbztextsfromlastnight)

dbztextsfromlastnight:

(304):
So far we’ve hooked up on a pool table, on a public counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven’t even made to a house yet.

Preach, alizephyra! Thanks for the hilarious submission!

dbztextsfromlastnight:

(615):
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I’ll keep you posted

(1-615):
it is a toga and you are a goddess.

A fantastic submission by the talented alizephyra!

(via cosmicmewtwo)

dbztextsfromlastnight:

(412):

I didn’t punch him it was just love coming out of my fist

Quality submission from our Bidoof queen, cosmicmewtwo!

dbztextsfromlastnight:

(304):

Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow

(via dbztextsfromlastnight)

dbztextsfromlastnight:

(202):

I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.

(via dbztextsfromlastnight)

dbztextsfromlastnight:

(307):

Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.

(via dbztextsfromlastnight)

dbztextsfromlastnight:

(214):

I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.

Submitted by the hilarious cosmicmewtwo, thank you!

dbztextsfromlastnight:

(310):

Remember how he wouldn’t sleep with me “out of respect”? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.

dbztextsfromlastnight:

(205):

My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT